The Wings of an Angel
by Marine Brother Shran
Summary: Rei is a prostitute who's forgotten how to live. Meeting Shinji, she begins to relearn there is more to life than being a prostitute. As she struggles to find herself once more, she strives to also find that light in her life. ShinjixRei OOC AU
1. Prologue

**Wings of an Angel**

**Prologue**

**Well fans of Wings of an Angel, this is it, the rewrite of the story. I hope that you guys will enjoy this prologue. As you may have noticed, this is an extended version.**

It was bright beautiful and sunny afternoon in the bright city of Kyoto. Everything was bright and pristine. Not a criminal in sight, not a thing out of place. Central of the city was the municipal park, the largest one amongst its neighbouring cities. Many people went there to enjoy the beautiful cherry blossom trees. It was also considered a hotspot for couples as there was just something about the nuances in the park that made it a favourite area for romantic outings, especially for young couples. It was also considered the diamond in the rough, as it was one of the few protected areas in Kyoto that still had wildlife living in the park. The park was the place where children played, couples dated, and the old diligently watched the young ready to lend them a helping hand in anyway they could.

It was a relatively quiet day despite the hustle and bustle of the city that surrounded the gentle park. Its evergreen trees, its sweet scented flowers, along with the laughter of children filled the park in so many ways that even the towering buildings couldn't shadow the gorgeous park. Throughout the park, many couples could be seen enjoying a brisk walk through the park, or somewhere private, as they expressed their feelings towards one another, or making out. Children played in the few playgrounds, while others played sports in the natural arenas that had grown.

On a bench, a young lady watched as her nearby twins played with other children in the sandbox. She couldn't help but smile at the life she had. She let out a contented sigh as she watched. As she watched she thought about her life and how it led up to this. She then pulled out a small book and pen from her bag and began writing.

_As I sit here and watch my children Asuka and Kaoru play, I can not help but think of the life I once had._

_Growing up I was fine. I for a time I had a father. My mother had died giving birth to me, but I was told that I was a striking image of the woman. I still have pictures of her prior to my birth. Many have said that I have her face, except for my husband who sees two different women. It was when I was 16 that my life changed._

_On my 16th birthday, my life was destroyed. The man that courted me before my husband took away my life. He destroyed everything I had when I lived in Hiroshima and so I had ran away. He took everything. All I had was what little dignity he did not destroy, my money, and a personal tattoo. I had to give up everything in order to escape from that city. My beauty, my small lineage, and I even almost lost my name. I found refuge in Tokyo-3._

_For a time I was able to build a new life, despite the fact I was on my own. I had enough money to last me for the year, and even more in my father's secret account which he had left for me. I have not dared touch it, not even today. To use it now would be an insult to his memory. However I am sure he would've wanted that money to be used for his family, so thus I hope to us it for my children's education, wherever they choose to go in the future._

_That life I had built was instantly shattered within a few months. I was found by the owner of a brothel which was a branch house of the main one that was situated in Hiroshima. It was then I had lost my life again under the disgusting servitude of men, to please them and fulfill their every wish and desire. It was a horrid life. I never wanted that life, but that was the only thing that kept me from and even more painful existence, and possibly death. It was the worth 4 years of my life, especially during my final years of high school. For a time, I thought that I had lost for my life forever._

_But that was changed when he came into my life. That was when my life truly began._

She let out another contented sigh as man sat down next to her and wrapped his arm protectively around her. She melted into his embrace as she rested her head against his chest. She loved this man with all her heart. She had really lived a hard life, only to come out of that hard life happy, with the man that had pulled out of that life, while at the same time giving her his heart. She could never repay her husband. She could only be with him as long as she could and be happy with him at their family. He was her saviour. He was her protector. He was her angel. It was his wings that whisked her away from the life she had. It was his wings that allowed her to soar beyond her limitations, and become somebody she could respect, and be respected. It was his wings that allowed her to live. She learned not long ago, that those wings, they really wings of an angel.

**Well anyways, that's the prologue, be ready for the revised chapters. Expect staggered updates, as I do have other stories that must be in production as well.**

**Cheers Ja ne**


	2. Angel

**The Wings of an Angel**

**Chapter I Angel's Heart**

**Well there you have it. After God knows how long, I have submitted the latest update for Wings of an Angel. I hope you guys enjoy it, for I have gotten my muse for writing back. (Does a happy dance)**

**Now enjoy, and please leave a review. CONSTRUCTIVE if you please.  
**

_My everyday life, for those four years, was nothing but a ceaseless nightmare that threatened to destroy my very existence. For a time I considered suicide, a means to end that existence. But I often look in the mirror, seeing a reflection of not just myself, but that of my mother and father. I am all that is left to acknowledge their existence._

_My father had often said that I was the perfect image of their love. I strived to be the best I could be, to never taint the image of that perfect beauty. I studied hard and I worked hard, all in the name of my father, and for myself. That often was what kept me alive._

_But as the days passed by, I had begun to lose more of myself to the darkness that held me. I eventually retreated into myself, creating a void around me. By the time I had graduated from high school, those who were not my 'clients' had dubbed me the Ice Queen. It had mattered not at the time. For by then I had closed myself off from the world, not caring for people's attempts to befriend me or any of the sorts. The only time my walls had ever been broken were during those times I had temporarily lowered my guard. Unfortunately, they had an uncanny ability of knowing exactly when to schedule my sessions. They were the most dreadful experiences in my life. I no longer remember how I ended up in any of them. I wish I could forget the pain, but that was always unavoidable._

_My suffering continued on until my 3__rd__ year in Tokyo University. By then I was 20, living life to the minimum, yet somehow surviving with no diseases, infection, and at the top of my class. I had entered a state of autopilot, to which my desires for survival took control, as I simply sat and watched my life slip through my fingers. I had all, but given up to truly strive for anything, except to survive. My will to live was gone, yet somehow I struggled for survival. I had never thought I would do anything once I had completed school. I had believed my fate was sealed, until that day he came._

_The moment he came to my life, everything changed. I would eventually become eternally grateful towards the man who would become my truest friend in my life. He was my angel._

Rei sighed tiredly as she quietly sat in the back corner of the lecture hall. No one ever bothered to talk to her. Throughout campus she was known as the 'Ice Whore'. She didn't care. She didn't give a damn what people thought of her. Nothing truly mattered to her in life anymore. If people didn't like her for living a life she was forced to live in, that was fine. It didn't matter, as long as she survived. For as far back as she could remember she had given up on everything and focused on just surviving: surviving for what, so no longer remembered. Her life was nothing but a bleak darkness that consumed her, leaving nothing but an empty husk that longed for eternal rest, but was denied. Though often contemplating suicide something always stopped her, telling her to live on.

Her contemplations were interrupted by the rustle of someone sitting down next to her. Ignoring the new presence, she silently stared out the window, gazing listlessly at the blue sky. Her mind automatically filed the person next to her as another poor soul who would be turned off by her cold shoulder (not that she cared). They were all the same: They would try to befriend her and get her to talk for a while before finally giving up and never sitting down next to her ever again. Most were turned off by her, but those who ended up getting word of what she was often came back, exacting their idea of 'revenge' upon her, becoming another 'client' of hers.

Her musings were nearly derailed when she heard a meek greeting beside her. She simply chose to ignore it as she continued to stare out the window when she heard the person again, a bit louder. She simply continued to ignore the person, even as she was being tapped on the shoulder. Sooner or later, he would give up and would never speak to her again.

But to her surprise, he didn't stop. It wasn't forceful, but throughout the class, he tried to get her attention, ask her for help on questions, and other such gestures. He did it on occasion as an attempt not to annoy her, but he always seemed meek, as if afraid to talk to her. His persistence and fear reached to the point it had finally piqued her curiosity when she turned her head to speak to him.

"Yes?" she quietly replied, taking a look at the person that spoke to her the first time. What she saw was a bit of a surprise for her. Often people who spoke to her were the big burly men, or athletes who were looking for a pretty face to have around their arms. But the person who sat next to her was completely different from those men. He had a pretty thin, lanky body, but from what she could tell, he had a descent physique, but not as defining. Short chestnut hair covered his hair, as cobalt blue eyes stared meekly back at her. He was definitely something different.

"Uh, hi, I'm Ikari Shinji," he quietly greeted, nervously holding out his hand out towards her.

"Ayanami Rei desu," she quietly replied, ignoring the hand as she turned to face out the window again.

"Ayanami-san?" Shinji called out, hoping to get her attention again.

"Nani?" she replied, her eyes still to the skies beyond, her attention on him. She heard something slide on the table. Looking down, she frowned somewhat as she stared at a ticket that indicate the special 24 session every new student who could successfully get her to talk could use. She looked up blankly at him, only to see him shamefully look down at his hands.

"I was told to show you this if I could talk to you," he quietly said, shame evident in his voice.

"Then I shall fulfill the obligation required of me," Rei simply stated, turning her attention back towards the window.

"You, you don't have to, Ayanami-san," Shinji suddenly blurted out, slightly surprised by her statement.

Rei turned to him in surprise, but simply stated, "It is required of me, as an employee of the Sunshine Heavens to please the client, should he present the 24-hour pass, as you have just now." Turning a bit more, she bowed her head towards Shinji as she quietly whispered, "I shall fulfill all your desires to the best of my abilities."

"What, what do you mean?" he stuttered, surprised evident in his voice, despite the fact she was looking down.

"I shall fulfill any and all sexual fantasies, and desires you so wish, so long as it is in the 24 time frame," she calmly elaborated, looking back at him, her expression maintaining its neutrality. She watched as he nearly choked on what she had told him, as he tried to process what she had just told him.

"What?" he gasped surprised and shocked by what she said.

"Oi Rei," a voice called out, gaining their attention. "Hurry up with this fucktard so that we can arrange for our next session. I'm bringing friends this time. They wanna tryout them tight holes of yours." Rei immediately frowned at what the man said while Shinji stared at him in disbelief.

"Oi, oi," a said a second person as he placed his hand on the first person's shoulder. "Let's not be hasty. After all, it's first come first serve when it comes to this beauty, so just hope you were the first to ask for the next booking after tomorrow." The first guy sighed in an annoyed fashion as he turned and stalked off out of the lecture hall, the second person simply laughing as he turned away and walked back to his friends.

When Rei turned her attention back to Shinji, she raised an eyebrow as he looked at her with a forlorn expression, with what seemed like a hint of pity, and possibly concern.

"You're a prostitute?" he quietly inquired, slowly packing his things as he broke eye contact with her. A pregnant pause followed his question before she uttered a near inaudible yes.

"I see," he said, getting up and slinging his bag over his shoulders. "C'mon, let's head to class." Rei simply nodded as she silently followed him through the hallways, walking quietly behind him, not uttering a word.

Shinji looked back as he took in her appearance. Her lithe figure seemed to hold untold beauty within, hidden underneath a veil of darkness. Her skin lacked a certain glow most people had, with its milky white appearance. It almost seemed devoid of life, as if she was nothing but a pale husk of the person she once was. Her blue hair, cut short, seemed lifeless, hanging dryly off her head, covering most of her features. Yet somehow, he barely made out the haggard image of her face. Her dull lifeless red eyes, listless lips, partially sunken cheeks, it seemed she took very little care of herself. He momentarily wondered what caused such an appearance, but remembered she was a prostitute: one who was devoted to sex and nothing but sex.

Her clothes were another matter, noticing how her t-shirt was almost two sizes too small, and her jeans seemed to be nothing more than a second skin. It bothered him badly how it seemed she had no self-respect. Her clothes were tattered along the edges and were adorned stains of varying sizes, the results of what he believed to be from her job, the very thought sending shivers down his spine.

They quietly made their way to Shinji's next class. He had asked why she followed him instead of heading to her own, her answer being that she would skip her classes to fulfill her obligation, but by extreme coincidence, their courses coincided perfectly with each other. Shinji said nothing else to her for a while as they waited for the class to begin.

Getting tired of the silence, and a nagging feeling within him, Shinji sighed as he turned to Rei and asked her a question that had been on his mind, "So why are you a prostitute? You can't be out of money if you're here."

"Such questions are not part of the entitlement," Rei simply replied, her eyes looking longingly at the blue skies beyond.

"You said you'd fulfill any desires I had, and I desire to know why," Shinji countered, earning a surprised look from Rei.

Rei sighed tiredly as she asked, "Why do you wish to know?"

"Please, just answer the question," he weakly asked, his resolve slowly breaking down.

"I was forced into it," she replied. "During my final year at high school, I had been taken captive by the Sunshine Heavens, and forced into the servitude of men. How I was able to pass my final year of high school without being discovered, I never found out. Unfortunately, I had been accepted into Tokyo University by then, and they took advantage of it. The son of the owner, and the sons of clients also attended this school, so they found it fitting I attended the school. So I attend this school, knowing full well it is to merely give these 'men' easier access when an activity is scheduled."

"So they fund for you?" he asked, to which she simply nodded. "Why don't you run away? What about your family?"

"I have nothing else," she blankly replied.

"Nothing else?" he repeated. "What about the education you have here? Can't you use your knowledge here to get away from it?"

"They choose my courses," she replied. "I am forever bound to them until I am to be discarded for a better prize."

"Why do you treat yourself like some sort of object? You're a person damn it," Shinji stated, feeling his blood starting to boil.

"I am nothing but a tool for men." Rei hardly finished her sentence before she found herself being dragged out by Shinji. Noting the angry expression on his face, she resigned herself to her fate, knowing full well what was going to happen next.

Simply allowing him to pull her along, she silently followed him as they left the building and proceeded towards the parking lot. Quickly finding his car, Shinji told Rei to get in. Once sure they were both secured, Shinji started up the engine and quickly made his way around town, parking in front of an apartment building, to which Rei recognized as her own. Remaining silent, she got out and followed his lead once more as they entered the building and got onto the elevator. She soon realized he didn't know that she lived in the same building, as he had pressed 6 instead of 4.

She, however, filed that information away, knowing it would probably be most likely be used in the future. He was just like one of them. Driven by lust and desire, they threw away everything just to relieve themselves. That was all she was: a stress-relieving tool, designed to take the pressure off them and onto her self. She sighed tiredly, regretfully having forgotten to take her birth control medication.

They entered his room, where he finally told her to sit down and wait for him. Silently complying, she sat down on the couch as she awaited her fate. She disliked dealing with angry people, but it was part of the job. Unfortunately, she would have to take it lying down. She quietly waited for some time, doing nothing but staring out his window, not caring to observer her surroundings. Despite the fact she would most likely come back here, there was no point to memorise the furnishings of the room. After all, she was simply the facilitator of their fantasies.

"Umm, here's some clothes that should fit you," a meek voice stated. Looking towards the voice, Rei saw Shinji holding out what appeared to be a set of neatly folded clothes, and a package of undergarments.

"I do not understand," Rei stated, confused by the sudden gesture.

"I'm not going to take someone out wearing what," Shinji awkwardly stated, starting to blush as he laid the clothes next to her. "Just call when you're done." He immediately turned around and made a beeline for the room he just came from.

"Wait," she called out, stopping Shinji in his tracks, but he made no moves to turn around. "I still do not understand."

"Just change into that," Shinji croaked, his voice wavering as if he was about to cry. Before Rei could utter another word, he closed his door, cutting her off from communicating with him until she had changed.

Sighing in resignation and from the developed habit of simply obeying, she turned to the clothes lying on the couch and took a moment to examine them, to get an idea of what her client could want from the experience. Her thoughts were momentarily derailed when she examined the clothing he had given her. It was a simple set of cotton bra and panties, a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. It was a simple set of clothes, nothing extraordinary.

She failed to grasp why he would want her to change, when it was most likely that she would be striped of her clothes. She couldn't find a possible scenario, unless it was a classic situation: take the girl out on a date, have some fun, and at the end of the day, they have simple sex.

She felt her throat dry when she realized she didn't know what to do. She had never gone out on a date in nearly four years, and had long forgotten what it was like. The very prospect of it confused her as she began to strip off her clothes. Depositing her clothes on the floor and standing bare in his living room, she slowly clothed herself, placing on the undergarments first. She let out an involuntary sigh as she felt the smooth feel of soft, clean linen graze her skin; how long since she had a chance to wear any normal undergarments, she had forgotten. She lightly felt the feel of the material of the cotton, before grabbing the pair of jeans.

She paused somewhat as she stared at the jeans. Staring at it somewhat, she noticed it had an angel on the left leg, in a playful position. She lightly ran her fingers atop the material, feeling the soft material used to create the image. The longer she held out, the more she desired to keep it. Sighing sadly of the futility of such a desire, she quickly slide the pair on, taking notice how it felt nice to wear pants that fit her comfortably, instead of being some ridiculously small size just to expose her body.

Taking the shirt, she let out a simple sigh as she observed the shirt in her hands. A sky blue colour, she let her hand run across the front of the shirt, enjoying the feel of the fabric. Despite the fact the phase, 'One and Only,' was part of the fabric, the fact the shirt in its entirety felt clean to the touch brought a feeling of pleasure to her. Pulling the shirt overtop of her, she sighed as she let her thoughts wander.

Living the life she had, she often wondered what it would be like to be truly 'clean'. Everything she did, owned, touched was sullied by the stains of her deeds. Even her room, constantly reeked the scent of her misdeeds and her sufferings. Nothing in her life was ever clean. Often the intentions of those around her had some form of uncleanliness. Nothing around her was clean. Everything was sullied in the horrors of her life. Nothing was true to her. Nothing was hers. Nothing brought her happiness. Everything was dark, dank, disgusting darkness.

Sighing to herself, she knocked on Shinji's door telling him she was dressed, and ready for his appraisal. Watching the door open, she saw the expression on his face change as he looked at her in awe. Unaffected by his actions, she simply shrugged off his surprised expression, passing it off as one of his fantasies coming true.

"I glad they fit," he finally stated, a shy smile gracing his features.

"Pardon?" she asked, surprised by his question.

"I thought they wouldn't fit," Shinji sighed, coming out dressed in a pair of jeans, and a short-sleeve shirt, with the top two buttons undone. "My mother told me I should keep a few of her clothes just in case I somehow brought a girl in, and she needed clothes to borrow. I guess my mother was right."

Had she'd been any other person she would've blushed at the comment. But one as jaded as she was, she simply stared at him impassively, not really caring for the comment, as it had no value to her. Today she would spend her day serving his every whim until tomorrow, in which she would resume her duties, pleasing all those whom she would require to. That was all to it. That was all the meaning her life had. She had nothing else.

"Let's go," he stated, as he pulled out a pair of slippers and handed them to her before putting his runners on, opening the door and holding it open as he said, "Ladies first."

"Pardon?" she questioned, taken aback by the gesture.

"It's polite to let the lady go first," he stated, laughing shyly as a tint of red graced his features. "At least that's what my mother tells me." His laugh worsened as he saw Rei regard him in confusion. Having no idea what was going on, he misunderstood her silence and reaction as if she had been insulted.

"Gomen," he quietly apologized.

"For what?" she asked, finding his mannerisms a mystery.

"I, I didn't mean to insult you," he explained, looking away, finding the linoleum floor of the halls interesting.

"You had not offended me," said Rei, finding his manner of speaking with her a mystery. Being one jaded by her life of nothing but constant servitude to men, and blocking the world around her, she had long forgotten there were those who were truly kind hearted and caring. The only man who she remembered to ever to be truly kind to her was the man who no longer existed in her life: her father. With only his memory as a truly kind man, she no longer had a real reference as to determine who the true were and who the dark were. The darkness that pervaded every aspect of her life clouded her, narrowed her perception of men down to one simple thing: they were perverts who only desired to relieve their libidos.

"Then, why do you look at me that way?" he meekly asked, still unable to look at her, for fear she was scowling or something worse.

"I am simply confused," she explained, finding his attitude extremely confusing.

"How?"

"You regard me as if I am something more than I am," she deadpanned. "I am nothing but a servant to men. There is no requirement to treat me as anything else."

"As anything else?" he gasped, stepping back into the room as the door slammed behind you. "How can you say something so sad? You're Ayanami Rei, a woman."

"That is all I am," she deadpanned once more, finding his sudden outburst becoming bothersome. "I am a tool to relief men's stress, to be discarded upon completing the task."

"Stop saying things like that!" said Shinji, grabbing Rei's shoulders as he stared into her eyes. "You're not a tool! You're a woman who deserves better than servitude! Look at you! You're in University! How? By studying hard and working for your self. You are your own person, who deserves better. It's your life! Not theirs!"

"Enough."

"But-"

"My duty is to fulfill your sexual desires, not to become something I am not," she stated.

"If it's your duty, why aren't you even trying?" Shinji stated.

"This is not being charged; therefore I have no reason to try."

"Then why not spend the day with me," Shinji offered, gears in his mind beginning to turn.

"Am I not doing such at this moment?"

"Not like this," he stated, shaking his head. "I meant on a date, a normal one."

"A normal one?" she repeated, confused by the statement. Again, living the shadowed life she lived, it was another aspect of life she had long forgotten.

"Yeah," he replied, light bulbs in his mind lighting up as he began to take in what was before him, "a chance for you to live a normal life, for just one day. That's my desire: to see you try and live again."

"Live again?" she restated, her mind beginning to distort as his ideas slowly crept into her mind, enticing something within. "I live. You live. I fail to see how I am to live again."

"You'll see," Shinji stated, a shy smile formed on his face as he opened the door and held out his hand to her. "C'mon, let's go." Rei regarded his hand curiously. An offer of kindness had been laid on the table, but to her, it was as if she had been given a mystery box, not knowing the contents of the box. She didn't understand such things as her mind struggled to come up with a response. Normally she would've been dragged around by them, often being regarded as nothing more than an inanimate object. But here she was in a situation in which someone treated her as a person, and she didn't know what to do. Sighing, knowing she had to do something, she hesitantly reached out for his hand.

Shinji simply waited patiently as she slowly reached out for his hand. Gears in his mind worked as they formulated something within. Whatever that was in his mind was unknown, but it widened his smile slightly more as he watched. He watched the hesitation in her movements. He knew she was confused, but it didn't bother him one bit. He would wait until she was ready. She was a human being, and he would treat her as such.

Rei felt her heart skip a beat as his fingers gently curled around hers. It felt warm, comforting to the touch. It sent a tingling sensation up her arm that shook through her body, down to her very core as something with began to slowly stir.

Smiling brightly at her, Shinji gently led her out the door.

_I am eternally grateful for his act of kindness. The moment he took my hand in his, it was the first step that led from the hell I had lived, to the beautiful light I live in now._

_Truly, he had the heart of an angel._


	3. Angel's Hand

**The Wings of an Angel**

**Chapter II Angel's Hand**

_I recall that day with absolute clarity. It was the day I began to see the world I had long forgotten. It was wondrous to be able to see the little things I had forgotten, or had taken for granted. I had begun to develop a new appreciation for the world around me. The laughter of children, the scent of flowers, the wind blowing in my hair, even my own laughter, I began to rediscover as he slowly helped me recover myself._

_As I look back on that day, I knew with no regret in my heart that taking his hand was the best decision I had ever made._

Quietly walking through the streets of Tokyo, Rei quietly contemplated her situation. Only a while ago, Shinji had dragged them out of class where he had brought her to his house. There had done something she had long forgotten was doable: he had asked her, kindly, to change into a set of clothes he had offered. He even left her alone to change, a concept she still found alien, as she often changed in the presence of others.

Then there was his sudden tirade over how she viewed herself. It was another odd concept to her. For so long, she had been regarded as a thing: one to be used and thrown aside, until it was needed once more. That was her purpose. That was enough for her. Every time, she would simply let them use her as they pleased, obeying their every whim. If she was to simply lie down and take it, she'd do it. If she had to put up a fight, she'd do it. If she had to take part in it, she'd do it. Although all she did, she only did it because she had to. There was no energy in it. There was no spark in it. It happened because it had to happen. That was her life.

But now, Shinji was saying that she was a person, someone to be respected someone to be treated equally, that her life was hers. The last statement confused her oddly. How could her life be hers, when everything she did, nearly everything she ate, was clearly dictated by the words of another? She didn't understand. She couldn't grasp it. The Sunshine Heavens owned her life; have been for four years. It wasn't hers to live, nor was it her place to try and live it. She was to survive until the day of reckoning, where it would be all over, and she could be forever free, to rest in ever lasting bliss.

"You're not a tool! You're a woman who deserves better than servitude!"

His words rang in her head clearly as a bell. He said that she was a woman who deserved better.

In her mind, she deserved nothing. She was just something to be used. That was it. If she was treated any less, it still wouldn't matter. She had nothing else. Her purpose in life was to please men now. She had long accepted she was worth nothing more than the three sexual receptacles on her body, and that was fine. She didn't deserve anything else. If she was given kindness, more often it was not because she deserved it; it was because it was pity. They felt pity towards her, so they were kind to her. They respected her, but only as a poor girl. Not because she was someone who just deserved their respect.

Allowing herself to wallow in her own thoughts, she failed to notice she had stopped until she felt something tug her arm, pulling her back into the real world. Looking back, she saw Shinji maintained his grasp on her, a shy smile gracing his features.

"Let's sit down," said Shinji, lightly pulling Rei along towards a nearby bench. Sitting down, he lightly patted the spot next to him, silently asking Rei to sit down next to him. She simply nodded in obedience and sat down with her knees together, her hands folded neatly atop her lap. Despite being a prostitute, some habits never went away. Proper public etiquette was one of them.

"Um," Shinji stuttered, a light tint forming on his face, figuring out what to say. "Tell me about yourself."

"What is there to tell?" Rei responded, staring submissively at the ground. "I am Ayanami Rei, a junior, 20 year old student of Tokyo University. I live on the 4th floor of your apartment building. I am an employee of Sunshine Heavens. My position is that of a prostitute in which I-"

"Stop that," Shinji blurted out, cutting Rei off.

"You asked me to describe myself," she deadpanned. "I simply did as you requested."

"That's not what I meant," he sighed, leaning back against the seat of the bench. "I mean you as a person. What you like, dislike, favourite colour, dreams, that sort of thing." Rei looked up and regarded him curiously. He was making one of the oddest requests she had ever heard. She had encountered some of the oddest of fetishes before, such as toe sucking, wearing certain clothes a certain way, covering herself in latex save for her head, genitals, and breasts, and other such odd likings. But compared to those, his request was the oddest of them all, from what she remembered from her career.

"I, I do not understand," she said in a light whisper, looking away from him, ashamed she couldn't please him.

"Rei?" Shinji asked worriedly, having noticed her darkened expression.

"I have failed my duty," she muttered, more to herself than Shinji, her hands enclosing around themselves.

"What are you talking about?" Shinji asked back, confused how she could possibly have failed her duty.

"I have often faced odd requests," said Rei. "I can fulfill the most perverted of fetishes, even if I do not fully know what is asked of me, I can usually learn easily. But your," she paused a moment as she tried to find the words to explain. "Your request confuses me. It has never happened before. I could not fulfill your needs."

"You think this is one of my fantasies?!" Shinji exclaimed reeling back somewhat in surprised. Rei simply replied with a weak nod, her gaze still directed away from Shinji.

"Gomen nasai," Rei said, turning to face him a moment before leaning her body forward in submission. "I await punishment."

"Punishment?" Shinji gasped, confused by her behaviour.

"It is common practice for my clients to punishment, due to my lack of proper facilitation," Rei calmly replied, her face still downcast. "I have long learned to accept it without question, such as I will with you."

Shinji was at a loss. He had never encountered such a lost soul in his life. Although he himself understood little of what was going on, he knew enough to know she was in a lot of trouble. It was easy to tell she was caught in a bad loop. Her mind was stuck on what she had been indoctrinated into, and it was impossible for her to break alone.

"Rei," Shinji sighed, looking down at the ground. "I, I can't do that. I won't." Rei's head looked up in surprise. Never once in her life had she ever heard someone say they wouldn't punish her. Most would just outright strike her, or worse if their mood was sour enough. Although being a woman of many talents, dealing with pain, be it physical or emotional, she was never good with. Once the first strike was made, she would continue to cry out loud. It only served to motivate them as they continued to torture her until they were satisfied. Once it was all over, they'd always leave her alone, often unconscious, having passed out from the pain. The following morning, she would wake up and nurse her injuries, before the next cycle began again.

"I don't understand," Rei murmured. "I have failed my duty. I am to be punished for my lack of fulfilling my duty, which is to fulfill your desires."

"How can you fail, when you don't understand what you failed?" Shinji countered. Rei spared him another confused look.

"Think about it," said Shinji. "You don't understand what I'm asking you, so how can you fail?"

"I," Rei stuttered, caught off by the counter Shinji stated. "I failed to grasp the meaning of your requests. I have been punished for not understanding what was requested of me on previous occasions. It is expected to be punished for such inadequacies. I should not be exempt for my inability to understand what you've asked of me."

"Just, just tell me about your past," Shinji sighed tiredly. "You're parents, your old school, your time before you can to Tokyo, that sort of thing." Rei looked at him incredulously for a while as she tried to understand his question. Although his wording made sense, the meaning behind his question came slowly to her. It took her a little time to understand the question, but she eventually came to an understanding.

"I, I do not remember," she eventually replied, her gaze having long returned to its neutral expression as she looked ahead at the ground. "All I remember was his kindness, and a tattoo he had gotten me."

"A tattoo?" Shinji asked, a bit surprised by the sudden tidbit of information he had not expected.

Rei nodded her head. "Hai, a white dragon on my back."

"I'd like to see that someday," Shinji suddenly stated, before realizing his mistake for saying that, sputtering apologies for invading her personal privacy.

"I do not understand," Rei commented, confused by his behaviour. "Is a tattoo not something to be shared?"

"Not something so personal," Shinji meekly replied back, silently berating himself for being so stupid.

"It is of little value to me," she simply stated. "I have long forgotten who my father was on a personal level, that the value of the tattoo has no meaning to me. It is simply a mark on my body, of a meaningless love."

"Meaningless love?!" Shinji cried, taken aback by the sudden statement.

"If my father were to have truly cared for me, he'd not have forgotten me, and would have attempted to save me long ago," she deadpanned, her voice unwavering. "I had long given up such a hope of ending my present employment. Now it is all I have, my only tie to life. When it is over, so shall my life. That is all to it."

Shinji could only stare at her in disbelief. She continued to astound him as she unwittingly revealing more and more to herself before Shinji. Although it wasn't about her, she continued to slowly bare more, and more of her battered soul to him. He couldn't tell how weary her soul was, but it was enough to see she was suffering, a lot more than she appeared to be. It was as if she had built a wall around herself, and possibly deluded herself in lies she had long ago succumbed in order to protect herself from the pain, only to end up in a darker misery.

His heart fell as he continued to watch her. She was so lost in the darkness that was her life. She had nothing to go for, nothing to live for. All she had to connect her to life was her servitude to the brothel she worked for. If that was gone, she would shut down, to waste away until death claimed her. Although he had seen prostitutes before, he worried she was one of those kind of people who were weaker than what they appeared to be. Although she appeared that it would take more than a punch to affect her, he feared it would take little as a slap to start the unforgivable chain of pain. It reminded of someone dear to him from long ago.

"How horrible," Shinji murmured. Rei simply looked up at him momentarily before turning her gaze back towards the ground.

"How can you survive living something so horrible," Shinji quietly asked. "You're living in pain. How can you live like that?" Rei simply remained silent. Shinji for his part was struggling. His mind cringed at the very being of Rei's existence. His heart thought to reach out to Rei and try and pull her out from her pain, to save her from the very darkness that held her, and bring her back to the life she rightly deserved. She didn't deserve to be in pain, at least form his perspective.

Sighing to himself, he easily dismissed the idea. He didn't have what it would take. He wasn't strong enough to do it. He could be her friend, but that was the most he could do. He couldn't save her. He couldn't bring the light into her life. He wasn't even able to save those close to his heart.

"C'mon, let's go," he sighed. Getting up, he put on the best smile he could and turned to face Rei, and held out his hand. Rei regarded the hand strangely. The concept of someone offering their hand foreign to her, she didn't exactly know what to do. Despite having accepted his hand before, she was still uncomfortable. She still didn't know what to exactly do. She didn't know what the meaning behind offering one's hand was. Was it a form of submission? A way of telling someone to follow? A way of offering trust? A gesture of kindness? Her brow creased together as the last two thoughts came to mind.

Trust and kindness: They were words long forgotten to her. It had been so long since she had felt any trust towards anyone, or had received any kindness from anyone. The ideas were foreign to her mind as she tried to understand what those words really meant. In her life neither of these words existed. They had no meaning to her. They were just words that took up her space in her mind, left to collect dust and to never be used again.

As sudden as the words had come to mind, a sudden yearning to understand what they meant developed within her. Somehow, she wanted to relearn the words, find their meaning, and their purpose in her life.

"Ikari-kun," she quietly said. "What does trust and kindness mean?" Shinji simply stared at her in amazement. Did she just ask what she just asked? He couldn't believe his ears.

"Could, could you please repeat that?" he stuttered, trying to let the sudden surprise sink in.

"I, I said," she began, pausing a moment as she tried to discern whether it was anger or surprised curiosity in his voice. "I wish to know what trust and kindness mean." His eyes widened in surprise as he finally processed what he had heard.

"Well," he began slowly, trying to formulate an answer that would define, "I suppose, it's an unspoken faith someone has towards another. They know that the person is true to their word, and that they will be there for you." Sighing, he sits back down next to Rei, and looked at her, despite the fact her gaze was still straight ahead, towards the ground.

"I'm not going to lie to you Ayanami-san, but I don't really know how to answer your question, at least for trust. It's, it's just something you learn I guess. When you feel that, that you can tell things, do things without fear, I guess that's a form of trust."

"I see," she calmly stated. "What about kindness?"

"I, I," he stuttered, trying to form yet another answer that could possibly define the answer. "Kindness, it's a way of, of being nice to someone. To show you at least care on some level. To be kind, you, you don't hurt people intentionally, you try to be nice, or help someone. I suppose that's the best definition I can give you. It's probably not good."

"No, it shall suffice," Rei quickly stated, cutting Shinji off. Letting go a breath he had no idea he had been holding, Shinji slumped somewhat into his seat as they fell into silence. They sat there for some time again before Shinji suddenly got up, and turned to face Rei.

"C'mon, let's go," he said, holding out his hand one more time towards her. Again, she regarded the outstretched hand as if it were something foreign, but with a better understanding of sorts. As she looked at his hand, questions began to form in her mind. Was he going to be true to his words and treat her as a woman? Was he going to be different when they had sex? Did she trust him enough to accept his hands? Questions continued to swarm her mind as she hesitantly reached up for his hand. Slowly, her hand rose to meet his.

Shinji, on his part, quietly watched Rei slowly reach up for his hand. Patiently he waited for her to take his hand. If there was one thing he had gained through the years, it was patience. How he had all this patience was a mystery to some. He could tell she was nervous. Her hesitation told volumes as she slowly reached out. Inch by inch, she neared his hand. Although an arduous process, it was one that took time. All great goals took time, and this was no exception. He felt he couldn't save her completely from her pain, but maybe, he could help her get started. If he could get her started on the right road, maybe someone else could possibly finish and help her recover.

Hands finally clasped around one another, Shinji gently pulled Rei to her feet and said, "Why don't you show me around? I haven't been to Tokyo for a while."

"Hai," she quietly replied, a bit taken aback from his sudden change of demeanour. "What would you like to see?" She watched Shinji ponder on the thought. As he did, her mind slowly started to observe his behaviour. She watched how his lips twitched, the way his brows creased, the way his hand rubbed his chin thoughtfully. She suddenly came to a startling realization as she caught herself looking at Shinji.

Her mind reeled in surprise as she wondered why she was observing him. There was no point to do such a thing. It had only gotten her into trouble on previous occasions, so why should now be any different. Calming her mind down, she slowly slid to a halt as she went back to waiting for Shinji's response. She would spend her day with Shinji, and then tomorrow, it would be back to normal. Things would go back to the way things were, except that he would probably never see her again.

_Although I had come to that conclusion at that time, I am glad I was wrong._

"Let's take a look at the tower," Shinji offered, drawing Rei from her train of thought. She quietly nodded, and quietly indicated to follow. Their hands remained joined together as she quietly led him through the busy streets of Tokyo.

Despite the noise, Rei felt for some odd reason at peace. There was no fear. There was no apprehension. There was no pain. It was just peace. She felt at ease. The way he held her hand, it was done in such a manner that felt unfamiliar, foreign. But despite the fact it felt odd, she liked it. Others who had held her hand held it too roughly, or squeezed her hand too hard, hurting her. Shinji held her hand like it was something delicate, that even the slightest mistake would break her hand. She felt her face burn slightly from the thought. Knowing it would only last the day, she privately enjoyed the feel of his hand, and the way it held hers. He would probably be the only one who would treat her this way.

Smooth as silk: they were the words that came to mind as he continued to hold her hand. Despite being sullied, possibly scarred by the hands of others, her hands retained a beauty he admired. Delicate graceful fingers composed her hand, each shaped to perfection. If he didn't know better, they were the hands of a musician, possibly a pianist or violinist. The pads of her fingers had minor calluses; pointing towards the likelihood she had played the violin at one point. With that mind, he made a note to try and see if she could still play.

The morning passed by well for the two of them. After a few embarrassing moments where Rei had misunderstood his intensions for having sex in certain areas in the tower, they settled for having lunch in a small café.

As they sat there waiting for their meal, Rei decided to voice one of her concerns, albeit hesitantly. "Ikari-kun, why is it, why is it that you do not wish to have sex with me?" Shinji's face glowed bright red as he tried to find a reasonable answer. Watching as he tripped over his tongue, Rei calmly waited for an answer, while trying to suppress a tugging feeling along her face. She wondered what it was, but pushed it aside as Shinji began his response.

"Well, it's, it's not exactly appropriate to do it where someone could catch us," he nervously explained, his face still red from the question.

"I have yet to have been caught by other clients," Rei deadpanned, confused at the explanation. "I have maintained appropriate noise levels as to prevent such an encounter. There was no need for worry."

"It's not just that," Shinji sighed, slumping back into his seat. "I have a different view of sex than you do." Rei said nothing, years of indoctrination having long suppressed her full curiosity.

Shinji silently wondered why she didn't ask any questions about his views, but said nothing as their food was delivered. Choosing to eat in silence, they simply maintained their focus on their food, the spark for conversation long gone from Shinji's mind. Although he had spent less than a day with her, she was one of the most interesting people he had met. At least from his perspective, she was far more dynamic than he was. Although she her mind was disturbed, she had qualities that could make her an interesting person; if that person within her was ever let out.

As he continued to eat, he occasionally glanced up Rei taking mental notes of her features. Despite the fact she kept her features well, it really appeared bleak in comparison to the clothes she wore. Compared to the bright, cheerful clothes she wore, her appearance was dark, dank, and depressive even. Her face lacked a certain glow most people had. Her cheeks appeared somewhat gaunt, almost as if it was rotting even though she herself was alive. Her eyes shined, but it was dull. It lacked the spark, the warmth everyone had in their eyes. For her all he saw were the eyes of someone who had long lost her will to live.

It saddened him to know she had lost her will to live. He had seen it happened before, and he had stood by and did nothing as she too lost her will to live. Whatever happened to her, he never found out, but he could assume from the way people talked about her. She had probably gone off and disappeared somewhere, never to be found again. Somehow, he saw much of his friend in Rei. They had the same eyes: Eyes that spoke great volumes of sadness, of pain, of darkness. He didn't know if he could do anything to help Rei. He wasn't able to do anything to help her. Even if there was something he could do, there probably wouldn't be much value in what he did. After all, why would a coward be of use to anyone?

Pushing such thoughts out of his mind, he watched as Rei calmly finished her meal. With ladylike grace, she placed her utensils down in a neat fashion, and wiped her mouth clean in a similar fashion. Sated, she sat back in her seat and waited calmly. For what, he assumed to be his next move or request.

Paying for the bill, he quietly led them out of the café. Having no particular destination in mind, they quietly walked about the busy of streets of Tokyo. They continued for some time in absolute silence, one not willing to say anything while the other couldn't think of anything to say. One felt constricted by the silence while the other remained impassive as they walked.

Finding the silence unbearable, Shinji suddenly blurted out, "Let's go to the park!" Having been caught by surprise, Rei suddenly found Shinji's hand grabbing hers again and quickly started to pull her along through the streets. Towards what park, she had no idea, but her mind began to travel away from the void as she noticed how he held her hand again.

In rushes, all her previous clients always held her hand roughly. It was worse than they were walking, to the point she had nearly had a hand broken because they wanted to make sure their 'date' would not get away (not that she would). But with Shinji, it was different.

For some reason, it felt right. It made her feel something she had never felt in her life. Her mind struggled to find the word, but she just couldn't find the word to describe what she felt as he held her hand in its warm embrace. At the very least, the best she could put it was that the way he held her hand in his was like that of a warm, gentle hug. Warm: another word that felt foreign to her, but its meaning wasn't lost to her. Although the notion of being warm in this sense was farfetched from her mind, she allowed herself to enjoy it. It wouldn't last long, so she allowed herself to be enveloped. Just this once, she would indulge herself a little, in the warmth of his hand around hers.


End file.
